My wedding nightmare

I have nearly had my first nervous breakdown over my wedding ... and it's all my MOTHER'S fault. Other brides possibly have their mother-in-laws to deal with but not me! As the family have offered to cater and my parents insist they are paying for alcohol and have from the start I feel the burden of accomodating my mother's wishes/edicts as much as possible. However, I'm getting mightily sick of the emotional blackmail! The minute that I try and wrest control of my own wedding back from my mother's clutches I get "You don't want us to help?? Then we won't - do it all on your own!" or ... "you're paying for your wedding? Then pay for all of your wedding" when I dare ... I really can't deal with this anymore ... my fiance and I are about to say - "It's our wedding, please don't pay for anything because we will be covering all the costs including food and alcohol" so that I can keep my sanity. The only catch is that covering the additional cost of alcohol and food will stretch us to the limit on top of our mortgage. Not a good thing :( Things are made worse by the fact that my cousin and his girlfriend recently got engaged - about 3 weeks ago ... we got engaged more than a year ago ...but I just heard that they've ALREADY booked their reception venue!!! It's driving me NUTS. Ever since I got engaged it seems that other people have gotten engaged after us and gotten married already and we're still planning our wedding!!! :( I think I've almost lost my mind.